The purpose of this website, and my writings, is NOT to imply “I am good, and they are bad”. It is not about character assassination, disrespect, lack of boundaries, irreverence, put-downs, name-calling, or other disfunctional behaviors towards abusers, or others for that matter.
Simply put, my writings have been a gateway to feelings I had when I was hurt as a child. Feeling these feelings in their most honest and powerful form, sharing them with others, unlocking deeper, more repressed feelings about my experience as a child, and finding myself going through a very long grief process that had been interrupted as a child; all this has brought me to have empathy for the child I was, to be able to see myself now as I am, not as others saw me long ago, and to gain empathy for children today, in a manner that seems not present in our society at large, a society that in some ways, still condones certain forms of child abuse.
I believe this process of healing that I have experienced, is a natural process that we are born with, but tend to ignore. We are taught to ignore our inner feelings and processes, and our reaction (as children) to abuse reinforces that separation from our feelings and processes! It is very uncomfortable, sometimes, to be in touch with our deepest feelings, but doing so allows us to notice subtle reactions in others, to notice when we hurt others, especially children, which is the way we are meant to be!
Some writings are VERY angry. Some describe my TERROR. Some describe tremendous sadness and despair. Some have a lighter emotional texture. All are expressions of the child I was, so long ago. I have been taught that ALL emotions are OK, they are neither good nor bad, they just are. These are about how it was for me as a child. There are also many pieces that are about therapy, parenting and child advocacy. Some pieces are about spirituality and awareness, which grow naturally out of healing.
The more I write, the more I discover about myself; the more I discover, the more I keep changing. Change is good, even though I tried to avoid change for half of my adult life. Change keeps me moving forward, towards whatever God has in store for me. For me, real change only comes after navigating the seas of emotional upheaval. The rise and fall of the waves in this sea are part of daily life, and will forever be a part of daily life. Larger waves were created far in my past, and tell me about how I felt during those past events, and why I am the way I am today. By allowing this natural process, I become more than I am today, because I recover pieces of myself that were lost. There are always treasures in the sea, after a ship wreck!
Ken S
A word of caution: Many of the pieces that you find on this site are triggering. You may find after reading some that feelings arise that you weren’t quite ready for, or didn’t know that you carried. So please be careful, and make sure you have a good support system. Many of the pieces here convey feelings I had as a child, feelings that I went through in my healing, and don’t necessarily represent how I feel now. I had to go through the Rage, Sadness, Terror, or Despair to get to the other side. These are here to help you get in touch with those frozen feelings from the past.
Therapists are welcome to use my writings with their clients, but need to contact me for use in books or any other publication media, including other websites. Those of you who have already asked and received permission in the past, I thank you for showing respect by asking, and I am honored in that request!
Here’s a Link to my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/scully.ken